War Stories

These are my father’s war stories, the only ones I know. He didn’t talk much about it.

 

 

 

Before shipping out to Europe, Jack took part in maneuvers in Louisiana. His company was bivouacked in the swamps. Some men found a six foot rattlesnake and killed it. They cooked the snake, and other men helped them eat it. That night, lots of men slept in the trees.

 

 

 

Jack was a farm boy from Kansas, and rural Kansas was all the world he’d ever known. He said he never had any trouble with blacks, but the toughs from New Jersey and New York City were mean and dangerous, and he stayed away from them.

 

 

 

Jack decided that whatever happened, he wasn’t going to walk across Europe. He signed up to take a test to become a truck driver, joining a long line of GIs that stretched up and over a hill. Every few minutes, they heard a loud crash of crumpling metal from the other side of the hill, and the line would advance a step. Reaching the top of the hill, Jack saw one truck parked nearby, pointed downhill, and at the bottom of the slope, a pile of wrecked trucks. He was told to get in the nearby truck and drive it to the bottom of the hill. The noncom who gave this order did not tell him that the truck had no brakes, but Jack found that out for himself when he pressed the pedal and it went to the floor. He’d grown up driving old clunkers of trucks on his dad’s farm. Keeping the engine in low gear, he eased his way down the slope, and brought the truck to rest well short of the crunched-up pile at the bottom. That was the whole test. Apparently, knowing how to brake with the engine was enough to earn a man the privilege of driving to the Rhine, passin infantry men slogging through the mud.

 

 

 

Jack was part of the D-Day landings, but came ashore several days after June 6, after most of the fighting was over. Jack took a walk down the beach. He came to a dead G.I., lying face down in the sand. With the toe of his boot he turned the body over. The face was the face of a man he knew. He didn’t know why he’d turned the man over, but he never did it again.

 

 

 

He drove his truck in long convoys, single file on narrow twisting roads, blacked out, the headlights giving off the faintest glow. He drove as close behind the truck ahead of him as he could, because it was the only thing he could see. Out one window of his cab, he knew there rose the sheer face of the invisible mountain. Out the other, he sensed nothingness, a sheer drop who knew how far. He kept his eyes straight ahead and drove.

 

 

 

Jack had a way of befriending men who didn’t fit in with the others. One of these was Freddie, a fellow with a compulsion for rummaging in the pockets of dead Germans. On one body, Freddie found a packet of papers that turned out to have valuable intelligence. For a while, Freddie was a hero, but that wore off, and he went back to being the weird guy who went through the pockets of dead men.

 

 

 

Freddie took to riding in the passenger seat of Jack’s truck. One day, the convoy they were part of came to a fork in the road. No one knew which fork to take. Freddy snooped around, looking at marks in the dirt. He pointed down one fork and said, “The Germans went this way, two or three hours ago.” That was the fork Jack took. The rest of the men ignored Freddie and went the other way. Jack and Freddy never saw those trucks or the men that rode in them again.

 

 

 

Another time, Jack came to a rickety bridge and started across. Part way over, the bridge began to collapse, and the truck started to fall. Jack jumped out the driver’s door, and his buddy, maybe Freddie, maybe someone else, jumped out the other. The truck toppled in the direction his buddy jumped, landed on him and killed him. Jack was unhurt.

 

 

 

Jack told the story of a corporal assigned to driving a jeep for a bastard of a colonel. Coming to a meadow, the officer ordered the corporal to pull over. “To get where I need to go, I have to cross that meadow,” he told the corporal. “There might be land mines. You go first.” The corporal crossed the meadow, turned and called back, “All clear, sir.” “Good work, corporal,” said the colonel. Part way across, the colonel triggered a mine and was blown apart. The colonel was a large man. The corporal was small. The corporal didn’t know whether he was lucky that day, or just light.

 

 

 

One night Jack was assigned with other men to stand guard behind a barricade on a paved road in a forest. If they heard the enemy approaching, one of them would switch on flood lights and they would open fire. They listened in the dark for hours, hearing only crickets, then heard footsteps in the distance, approaching. The forest, pressing close on either side, magnified Jack’s fear until he was sure there were 10, 20, 30 Germans walking into their ambush. On command, the switch was turned, drenching the road ahead of them in light. Ten yards away, five cows came to an abrupt halt.

 

 

 

Honorably discharged, Jack sailed for home on a hospital ship, sick with yellow jaundice, a disease that affects the liver. “I don’t know you from Adam,” a doctor told him, “but I’ll say this. If you want a short life, start drinking, because your liver won’t stand it.”

 

 

 

He told me his war stories when I was nine or ten, except the ones about Freddy and the troop ship, which he told my brother, I’m not sure when. I didn’t hear the one about the body on the beach until my brother told it to the minister, the day before Dad’s funeral in 1999.

 

 

 

The stories are brief, vivid, unembellished. No guns are fired, no one is a hero, no one is a villain. They are stories of individuals who make choices and are judged by chance. A snake is found, a body turned over, the wrong fork taken. Thirty Germans become five cows, Jack jumps one way, his truck falls the other, and all of them the consequence of a young man’s choice to drive, not walk, across Europe. By the time we heard his stories, he’d had over 15 years to cull his wartime experiences. Maybe he only told stories about the kinds of experiences he could make sense of, suppressing the rest as too senseless to comprehend.

 

“I guess it just wasn’t my time,” he said at the end of one story. I think that is the sum of my father’s war stories, not just the ones he told, but also, and even more so, the ones he didn’t.

Birthmark

Hickey lived in a church steeple. Thinking no one knew, he snuck in at night through the sanctuary doors that the preacher left open for folks and their private prayers. Hickey never said prayers, but he lived one, and so the preacher turned his cheek to all suggestions of eviction.

The prayer Hickey lived was that the moon remain in the sky. He felt a kinship with the moon, because like him, its face was imperfect. He’d heard that some saw a man in the moon, or a rabbit, or a woman with a necklace. He saw in its dark splotches a birthmark, like the one that covered one side of his face, except his was dark red, the color of acne but acne was bumpy, and his birthmark was smooth, like he’d heard that the moon’s was, only people called the moon’s birthmarks mare, which meant sea, but they couldn’t be seas, because the moon, he’d heard, had no water. There was the moon, up in the sky, with no water, and apparently no need for water, completely free of something no one else could live without. Reason enough, Hickey had decided, to make his life a prayer that it remain in the sky.

Hickey didn’t pray to the moon. It didn’t care, it wasn’t listening. He didn’t pray for the moon, because if the moon didn’t even need water, it needed nothing that a prayer could bring. So Hickey decided to just be friends with the moon. When it rose, he was there to say, “Hi, welcome back.” When it set, he told it, “So long, come again.” When the clouds cleared, after a night’s frightful storms, he greeted it with joy, said he was so glad to see it come back, and hoped the storm hadn’t scared it like it had scared him. Once a month, during what people called the “new moon,” it hid itself, and when it returned, he welcomed it back and knew from its slender crescent smile that it was glad to see him.

Hickey didn’t much care for people. They were fragile, always breaking. Everything about people was liable to break at any time, and people knew this, and accepted it with special words. Broken spirits, broken dreams, broken hearts, but not the kind in his chest that beat, another kind of heart that Hickey didn’t understand. People broke up, broke down, broke out in measles, broke out in laughter. Even when happy, people broke. And he’d seen anger break a face, turned it as red and scary as a birthmark.

Hickey had given up on breaking years ago. He’d heard that some people envied him that, envied his tolerance of people making fun of him, saying mean things, knocking him around. Even good people tried to break him, telling him he needed things he didn’t: a home, parents, meals at a table, Sunday school, and something call vocational training. There came a day when he just got tired of people trying to break him. On that day, a night actually, the moon had been there to show him just what to do.

He’d heard people thought he hated people, had got fed up with being broken. But what he’d really got fed up with was no being able to them break back. He wasn’t quick enough, observant enough, caring enough to know what to say or how to say it. He wasn’t witty, wasn’t smart, couldn’t stay mad, couldn’t talk without thinking over what he was going to say. He made his break from people – made his break – the day he said “Fuck you” back to someone who’d said it to him. “You can’t hurt me,” he blurted out to Bobby Burton, that night on main street, blood streaming from his nose. “Fuck you,” Bobby Burton said, balling his fist for the next punch. “Fuck you back,” said Hickey, and it was like his ears stopped working and his eyes stopped seeing and his skin and bones stopped feeling and he was floating above it all, heedless, needless, like the moon.

So he kept saying it. “Fuck you,” to anyone or anything that crossed his path. “Fuck you” for about a whole year, the year he got free of school where “Fuck you” wasn’t allowed. A year of “Fuck you’s” and people left him alone, and once he got as free of them as the moon was free of water, he took charge of his life. He moved into the steeple, discovered the moon, and decided that his job in life was to keep the moon in the sky, and that all it would take was to talk nice to the moon, always give it a smile, never try to break it, like it never tried to break him.

4/30/15

Not Up to Scratch

The mosquitoes that weekend were horrible.  They ruined both our camping trip and our relationship. Making love while being wounded from all directions at all angles by vicious little cupids, a Valentine’s Day massacre. It didn’t help that the tent’s zipper had given out years ago, and I’d replaced it with Velcro strips every foot or so, leaving large gaps all the way around. It didn’t help that it was my tent, and I had neglected to mention the Velcro when we’d decided that one would do us fine. And it actually had gone fine, quite fine in fact, until the scouts for the mosquitoes found the gaps and tasted first blood. We slapped them away without thinking, until they returned with the rest of the Army.

We tried to escape by getting back into our clothes, but mosquitoes undeterred by a velcroed tent door  laughed off the futile gaps between buttons, between shirt tails and jeans, and collars and throats. We tried to escape by zipping up in our sleeping bags and pulling the drawstrings, but the mosquitoes found us there. Desparate, we bolted for the car, like Redcoats from Concorde, harried in our retreat by murderous, sniping swarms of Minutemen.

In the car, we slapped dead that ones that made it past the slamming doors. We swatted until the dash, the windows and windshield, the backs of the seats were specked with protoplasmic measles of our own blood. We snuggled down to endure the rest of the night. We got as comfortable as two people can get in a Prius, so much so I was thinking she’d forgiven me my Velcroed tent but, for the record, our relationship ended the instant I wiped a smashed mosquito off the dashboard, held it between us on the tip of my finger, and said, “Imagine, our blood commingled.”

“My tent! Our sleeping bags!” I said as she started her Prius.

“Screw your tent,” she said, and drove down that mountain into town, where she dumped me on the curb in front of my house at 3 AM, desolated, burning with red welts.

I tried to sleep, but the itching wouldn’t let me. I tried cortisone cream, and Benadryl, and uncounted shots of rye whiskey.  I lay writhing in bed, part from the itching, and part from shame. After giving me every chance, she’d found me wanting, not up to scratch. Except, after a sleepless hour, I was.

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Vikings in Oklahoma

Vikings in Oklahoma
(with thanks to the Free Generative Poetry Workshop)

Vikings rowing up the Mississippi.
The Mississippi rolling down to New Orleans.
The Vikings reaching the Arkansas.
The Arkansas rising up in the Rockies.

The Vikings rising one morning in Norway.
The Vikings deciding, “Let’s go to Oklahoma!”
The Mississippi passing the mouth of the Wisconsin.
The Vikings rowing past Greenland.
The Mississippi rounding the nose of Iowa.
The Vikings rounding the Florida Keys.
The delta beckoning: its goosefoot finger.

The Vikings take a hard right from the Gulf.
The mouth of the Arkansas speaks their names.
The Vikings decide, “Ya, you betcha, let’s go up this one.”
The mouth of the Poteau whispers: “Come home.”
The mouth of the Poteau whispers: “You will never die.”

A town in the Ouachita foothills,
Whose name embraces heaven.
A state park whose name is Runestone.
Markings on a boulder said to be runes.
Bear cubs born with blonde hair and blue eyes.
A place on the Arkansas, by the Poteau.
A place of ancient power: Spiro.
An Indian enchantress, changing Vikings into bears

Tow Truck Ride

My gosh, those two guys could talk cars. In the fifteen minutes it took to tow my car to the mechanic’s shop, they went through Lincolns, LTDs and their equivalent, the Chrysler Newport, Javelins, Gremlins, Pacers, Firebirds, Pintos, ’57 T-Birds, Mach 1 Mustangs, and also Mach 2. I sat between the two of them, my feet on the jumper cable booster pack. “That booster pack might give you a jolt,” Rob, the driver-in-training, joked. Scott, behind the wheel, was from Maine. He had the accent and stories about cars he’d known there. Of how a guy had taken his wife’s new Firebird to a race track and entered a race for amateurs. How another car’s tire blew out, sideswiping the Firebird. The Firebird leaves the race with dents all over it, and the engine with less than 200 miles on it. “Not even broken in,” I said. “A crime.” said Scott.

Finding Fiction in Conference Presentations

Here’s the exercise:

Pretend you’re taking furious notes as the speaker at the front of the room drones through her PowerPoint presentation. You will impress those around you, and at the coffee break, they will point you out across the room to their friends. “That guy took notes during every talk like he was trying to write down every word.”  Not too far from the truth, because here is what you were actually doing.

Listen for an instant, and write down what the speaker just said, as much as you can remember, word for word. Listen to what he says next, and write that down, and so on. Don’t try to memorize or retain what is being said, just listen, jot, listen, jot, like swimming the breast stroke but sucking in breaths with your ears, not your mouth, for your pen, not your lungs. Don’t try to make sense of what you’re writing, and by all means do not edit. Get it verbatim, but put in a period if it seems like a good place for one. The result should be something like the following an example, jotted down from an oral presentation at a  wetlands conference, about maintaining a highly managed wetland in Wisconsin.

“They have both tractors and these / individuals travel so kind of keep that in mind./ In 2011, the left hand / inundated important things/ windrows of hay are left out / these so just be aware and / fires created by that equipment itself / at least I think it has / to various types of forbs / just to name a few out there./ The major emphasis of the Killsnake plat / short-eared owls out there / and turkey vultures through time / the cutting out there doesn’t mean they can / get out there over the last 10 of 15 years./ Species what I used to do out there / on Killsnake itself and so the property / is changing with the times.”

“Killsnake” is the name of the property, poetic in itself. The repeated occurrence of “out there” was habitual to the speaker, a phrase he sprinkled throughout the last part of the sentence, in much the same way that some people repeatedly interject “you know.” It was a bit annoying, but it also kept us focused on the otherness of this place, far removed from a conference room in a big city.

Most of what you jot down will be gibberish, but occasional pairings work well together.   “In 2011 the left hand / inundated important things.”  The fragments also tend to carry the general direction of the talk. Reading the Killsnake jottings above, as jumbled as they are, you can still sense a transition from two sections of the talk:  the first one about activities undertaken on the Killsnake, and the second about animals observed on the property.

Aside from the obvious reason — to combat boredom — I do this because I’m fascinated by the way the duration of my memory — 10-20 syllables — and the natural rhythm of language work together to create snippets of what can be read as free verse.  The natural extension of this exercise is to mess with it, taking a word out here, switching the order of two phrases there, but above all, trying to discover or create a meaningful poem.

Light from the Face of the Moon

Just eighteen months ago, she’d watched her husband ride his horse across the face of the moon. It was a daylight moon, setting full but faded in the southwest, pausing on the ridge top long enough for the man and his horse to pass in front. From a distance, she watched the crown of her husband’s Stetson graze the moon’s north pole, its orb framing his entire torso, the southern regions eclipsed by the horse’s body. Then the mare carried him beyond the moon, and a minute later, man and horse dropped from sight behind the ridge.

Maybe he’d noticed her, maybe he hadn’t. His eyes weren’t so good these days. When they went out to count cattle, he could make the animals out as brown dots scattered across a pasture, but his counts were off. He’d come to rely on hers. “I got thirty four,” he’d say. “What’d you get?”

She could have blown the horn to get his attention. Even if he couldn’t see as far as the road, he’d have known the sound of her truck’s horn, sensed trouble, and ridden down from the ridge. On the other hand, having seen her man ride across the moon seemed to make it worth the five mile walk home.

The moon tagged along behind her husband, loping down behind the ridge like a lost calf being led back to its mother. When the three of them were out of sight, she lingered, in no hurry to get home. Hood up, driver’s door open, she sat absorbing the silence of the rangeland, enjoying the strong slanting gold of the late afternoon sun, a woman alone on land half hers, behind the wheel of her very own truck, with a pint of Seagram’s and six seized cylinders.

When she figured there was just enough daylight left to get her home at sunset, she capped the whiskey, left it on the seat, and set off walking. Galen would beat her home, and he might be worried she wasn’t there, but her story would cheer him up. He’d be going around for days telling everyone he knew how him and Gertie had ridden across the moon. Galen was dying of cancer, but he still liked to laugh.

*

The day Galen went, he went quickly, resting as best he could with a tube down his throat and two more up his nose, with wires and other tubes poking into him and running off him like his body was nothing more than a house being rewired. She sat beside the bed in the dim light, thumbing her Smartphone, skimming emails from grandkids. She looked up, sensing a change in him, like something unseen was welling up from his insides. A breath rattled softly from his lips. She thought she heard him mumble, “Come to me,” and then he was gone. She laid her phone on the nightstand, let go a breath of her own. Her eyes ran down his long, emaciated body. She’d never felt so strong, knowing she’d seen him through. Under the thin hospital sheets, she knew he was already little more than a skeleton, but he’d fought for every pound he’d lost. That day, frail and dying, he’d never seemed stronger, fighting the cancer, one last time, to earn himself the night time, so he could die at rest.

She did not call a nurse, one would come by soon enough. She switched off the only light, a bedside lamp. Moon light filtered through the partly closed blinds, falling across her husband’s withered face. She reached with hesitant fingers not so much to touch him, but to touch the moonlight that lay gently on his cheek. “You’re too late,” she said, “but it was nice of you to come.” Then she apologized because, of course, it had been with them all evening.

 

Knife and Pig

This is a story Tom, my barber, told as I sat in his chair. I wrote it down soon after I left his shop, so I could get his words as true as possible.

Mike and Johnny Phelan were brothers. Their father Francie was an attorney in Fort Madison. He had a cabin on the hill above Montrose, up where my brother lives, but on the other end of the loop that goes around up there. That little gray place on the end. When they got to college, Mike and Johnny would bring girls back there for the weekend.

Johnny wound up getting stabbed to death in Bonaparte one night. Francie swore he’d get to the bottom of his son’s death, and when he did, it wasn’t pretty. Johnny was always taking it outside with guys. He was always saying something to get a guy mad, and him and the guy would end up taking it outside. One night, outside, the guy stabbed him. Maybe Johnny had got the best of him before, but this time the guy stabbed him with a knife. Stabbed him till he was dead. Over in Bonaparte.

Mike wasn’t like that. He was bigger than Johnny, but he never fought. Only trouble he ever got in, one night he let a pig loose in The Palms, that supper club on the west side of Fort Madison. He got in back somehow. It must have been late at night, after they were closed, after ten. Mike wasn’t the kind of guy to let a pig loose in there at 6 PM when the supper crowd was there, so it had to have been in the middle of the night. He got the backdoor open and set the pig loose in the kitchen, then closed the door. The guy who came to work early next morning found the pig and had to clean it all up.

This story breaks rules. Tom skipped every opportunity to give specifics. How did Francie “get to the bottom of his son’s murder?” and what happened to the murderer. How’s a guy get a nickname like Francie? No explanation of why Mike let a pig into the Palms, or what happened to him because of it.

There are three kinds of plot. Dramatic plot is action-focused. Thematic plot is focused on Big Questions the story deals with. Emotional development plot is character-focused. Tom’s story was all and only about the two brothers and the contrast between them. He adhered strictly to that purpose, not allowing the specifics of action, conflict, and their resolution to interfere. I didn’t mind not knowing the details — although next I get a hair cut, I might ask — out of respect to the storyteller because they weren’t important to him in the telling.

Busblog 2/6/15

Observations riding the Cambus at the University of Iowa on a Friday, heading to work.

Trees with clumps of snow nesting in the Y formed at each branch. Street lights, flag poles shooting like frozen rocket trails into the lead sky. Workers in round brimmed hard hats and green vests, sullen, grizzled, hard-weather faces: 14th century foot soldiers. Fake balconies fronting faked arches of fake doorways high on the facade of the football stadium: architectural homage to the sport’s parasitized host. Women bolts off a bus and up the stairs in an incredible calf length coat, a motley patchwork of suede and leather squares, with fur along the seams, and a long conical hood hanging from her collar down her back to waist level: a priestess, a midwife, a herbalist, a hunter. Silver SUV racing between banks of grimy snow. Yellow-jacketed bus driver stowing gear behind his seat, standing to rest his back, doffing his jacket onto the dashboard; takes his seat, checks his passengers over his shoulder, pulls away from the curb, but he has no passengers, he pulls riderless away from the curb.

I sit on a bench in the glass-walled terminal, looking down a vacant street, walls of brick buildings to either side, tall, silent, sidewalks empty, too. Rush hour’s over, where’s my bus? Escalators running, no one riding them, humming hidden motors drive their cycles. Eventually there will be riders, eventually a bus will come: calm trusting patience of the traveler. Now and again a person appears. Down the escalator, alone: gray-haired, slightly stooped man with walking stick, but he steps along quickly and well.  A jogger running down the street, clenched fists and horizontal forearms out in front, swaying sideways in unison to the alternating, forward thrust of his shoulders driving him forward.

A bus comes and it comes like it always comes to the place where I’m using to getting on, and I do. Riding again. Bird life: two tall cranes standing long-billed above the new hospital wing, and the Hawkeye logo on tghe stadium scoreboard. Over a bridge on Melrose Avenue, look down into a yard stick straight gouge dug out over a century ago for a railroad that today rarely runs. They had to cut through the hills because the trains could not climb them. Farther down Melrose, the empty Finkbine golf course parking lot, banked all around with pushed-off snow. On the driving range, a yellow flag on a tall pole striped black and white surrounded by acres of  untouched snow. Married student housing: international students huddled in the cold at the bus stop, get on and sit together, bantering easily one to another like young couples do when they are friends who share their youth and new families in common.